Since I know it's coming later today at the doctor's office, I thought I'd gird my loins and go ahead and get on our bathroom scale this morning... and it's exactly as I thought: I've gained ten pounds in the three months since Jerry died. It got to the point last night where I had eaten so much all day that I was feeling slightly ill, definitely sluggish and icky... and then I went and got some ice cream... and after that I went and got the bag of peanut M&Ms. And after that I decided, that's it - this is coming to a stop now.
So as of today, I am going back to counting Weight Watchers points - I've said that I'm doing that several times since Jerry's death, probably, but this time it's going to happen. I figure, if it stick with it religiously, I can lose a couple of pounds before I go to Rhode Island, which would be a good start. I just want to get back to where I was three months ago, when all my pants fit. I have so much that feels bad going on in my life right now - I don't have to add to it myself with this out-of-control binge eating. It stops now.
(Let's see if this strategy of putting this out there for all and sundry to read will be the motivation I need to stick with this resolution. Right now the way my clothes feel and what I see when I look in the mirror are pretty good motivation themselves.)
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