My spare keys turned out to be right on top of my desk, i.e. several inches from the computer on which I'm typing this. (Yes, the state of the desktop is a little frightening, but the keys weren't even buried by papers.) Which is a good thing, because Honda wanted $135, not $50, to make another copy.
So at least one thing has gone right lately.
11 August 2011
09 August 2011
What I Have To Do
Here's what I have to do: I have to remember that who I am is someone that Jerry Enright loved, and that I deserve to be treated as well as I was treated by Jerry Enright... including by me.
I'm still here. It's still a struggle. Decisions are hard. Some decisions are wrong. Some are right. It's a shame I can't always know which are which until afterwards, but I'm still muddling through. Random information: I'm just under a week from being a year from being fifty, and I still don't know how that happened. Got food poisoning a number of weeks back, drove myself to the ER, got rehydrated. Hysterectomy has been put off until September 29. Went to Alabama to remember an important part of who I am (Sacred Harp singer), got caught off guard a few songs after leading 77t for Jerry with no problem and had to step outside the church and sit on the front step until the sobbing stopped. He should have been right there, over to the right as I faced the tenor bench, or maybe at the front. He should have been. It was all wrong that he wasn't.
Blew off running after the food poisoning, excuses tending towards "It's too hot" (which it's been) or "It's raining" (which it has). But went out today (in the process discovering I may have lost my spare car key, which means around $50 at least to replace it at the Honda dealership). Hard, almost like starting from scratch. Which is what will happen again after the surgery and recovery, but at least I did it.
Going back to Alabama at the end of the month, assuming my vacation days are approved: I wasn't going to go to Lookout Mountain, where Jerry and I met in 1998 and where we held his memorial last year, since I was supposed to be having surgery the Thursday before that, but now that that's postponed until the end of September, I'll drive back down.
I'm still here. I just haven't written a lot. Obviously. It's still hard. I'm doing the two-steps-forward-one-step-back shuffle, I think. Better than one-step-forward-two-steps-back, I guess.
Jerry Enright loved me. What more in life could I aspire to than to live up to that love?
I'm still here. It's still a struggle. Decisions are hard. Some decisions are wrong. Some are right. It's a shame I can't always know which are which until afterwards, but I'm still muddling through. Random information: I'm just under a week from being a year from being fifty, and I still don't know how that happened. Got food poisoning a number of weeks back, drove myself to the ER, got rehydrated. Hysterectomy has been put off until September 29. Went to Alabama to remember an important part of who I am (Sacred Harp singer), got caught off guard a few songs after leading 77t for Jerry with no problem and had to step outside the church and sit on the front step until the sobbing stopped. He should have been right there, over to the right as I faced the tenor bench, or maybe at the front. He should have been. It was all wrong that he wasn't.
Blew off running after the food poisoning, excuses tending towards "It's too hot" (which it's been) or "It's raining" (which it has). But went out today (in the process discovering I may have lost my spare car key, which means around $50 at least to replace it at the Honda dealership). Hard, almost like starting from scratch. Which is what will happen again after the surgery and recovery, but at least I did it.
Going back to Alabama at the end of the month, assuming my vacation days are approved: I wasn't going to go to Lookout Mountain, where Jerry and I met in 1998 and where we held his memorial last year, since I was supposed to be having surgery the Thursday before that, but now that that's postponed until the end of September, I'll drive back down.
I'm still here. I just haven't written a lot. Obviously. It's still hard. I'm doing the two-steps-forward-one-step-back shuffle, I think. Better than one-step-forward-two-steps-back, I guess.
Jerry Enright loved me. What more in life could I aspire to than to live up to that love?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)