As I was falling asleep last night, my mind drifted for some reason to a lotion that Jerry was prescribed, just before the beginning of the end of the world, for pre-cancerous spots on his face. And I remembered I had thrown it out, along with every other medication I could find that he had taken, after he died. And then my brain, for a split second, told me "You shouldn't have thrown it out, he's going to need it when he comes back."
So apparently there's still some denial going on.
Yesterday was 15 weeks since the death that part of my mind is still not accepting.
Anyway.
Three days and a wakeup until my next trip: this time to Rhode Island, where I'll visit with friends and family, go off for facials on Friday with Lynne at an Aveda spa, and sing at the New England Sacred Harp Singing Convention. First time in the Northeast since our last trip to New York this past New Year's. Not sure when I'll be able to face New York again, for the first time without Jerry in 11 years... small steps.
I cannot believe it has been 15 weeks....how tough every day has been for you (rightfully so!).
ReplyDeleteYes, small steps. And one at a time, whichever direction it leads. One step, one day at a time. I am proud of you.
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