Thunderstorms rolled through here at 6 this evening and knocked the power out. Last time that happened was the Friday after Jerry died - I remember sitting at the kitchen table reading books on widowhood by candlelight and then getting candlewax all over the books. I was better prepared this time, since I knew to be more careful in blowing the candles out (and to watch them to make sure they didn't spill molten wax all over, and to put paper under them in case they did), and I had also picked up an LED flashlight/lantern at Target after the previous outage. So I tried to read some of the latest Sookie Stackhouse novel - but concentrating on reading still doesn't work very well - plus I slept badly last night, and my eyes hurt - so then I listened to some of the episodes from the huge backlog of podcast downloads of The Archers that are on my iPod. (I used to listen to them while I worked. Now I've got a backlog reaching back a month. Was wondering why Pip wasn't in college until I remembered it was still August in Ambridge.)
Spent part of this morning hooking up the VCR/DVD combo Jerry got as part of a plan to transfer VCR tapes to DVD - a process that, using that combo plus another gadget, turned out to be so slow and cumbersome, he never actually got far with it. My 13-year-old VCR is in its death throes, so I brought the combo downstairs from the Buddha bedroom and managed to get it hooked up to the TV and the satellite receiver. Now if only I could figure out why I get no picture from the satellite receiver on my screen unless the combo is turned on. I still haven't figured out if I'll be able to record things successfully, but at least I can now watch tapes without a fuzzy picture and/or a high whiny sound.
Before that, the concrete guys came and took away the forms. So now there's a very solid wall in those two basement rooms (which are now more like one basement room with a partial wooden divider between them) instead of the dirt of the foundation in one and some wooden paneling in the other. I wish Jerry could see it.
Had a nice lunch with Erin, and she gave me back the urn, which she and Seamus have put mementos in. I started adding my own by putting the mistletoe in. I keep patting the urn as I go by it, as if somehow I'm touching Jerry. Which leads me to...
... Prozac. That's going to be the next thing we try. The doctor doesn't want me to keep taking Xanax (although I took one half an hour ago in the hopes that it'll help me sleep tonight - I slept badly again last night, even though I was still zonked, which I finally am not now... just wiped out. I tried to go to sleep before 9 while the power was still off, and had no luck - my brain was whirring, and being in such darkness, without the sounds of the refrigerator or other electric things in the house, just made me want Jerry there even more, if it's possible to want him there more than I always completely do). Anyway, her nurse told me Xanax can be habit-forming. OK... can't say I've ever experienced any kind of substance habit, unless you count Peanut M&Ms, so I wouldn't know about that, but whatever. I complained a lot about things that make you drowsy, and how I can't tolerate those, but the doctor wants to start me out on half a pill a day (5 mg) for two weeks, saying I can't know about side effects unless I give it a try, and if I do tolerate it well, have me move up to an entire pill. Will pick that up tomorrow en route back from the gynecologist appointment. And I'll have to find Jerry's pill splitter, which I'm pretty sure I kept... somewhere.
So okay. Another couple of days of being zonked, or something that actually helps. We'll see. I hear Prozac can take away a person's sex drive. Not worried about that... you can't take away something a person doesn't have, can you? And I have no use or desire for one of those anyway. Meanwhile it turns out my cholesterol is slightly elevated. Now why could that be? Could it have anything to do with gaining 10 pounds in 3 months? Nah...
Power outage was just in time to prevent me from watching the season premiere of Glee. Hmmmph. Will have to catch it online.
Hope I sleep tonight.
Just stopping by to say hello ... It was about two years before I was able to read a book from start to finish. I had felt so deprived, because I was once an avid reader. Reading my first novel felt like such an accomplishment!
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