Jerry got a statement in the mail from the hospital (doesn't include the doctors' fees, of course) today, for the period from his admission on 12 May to the day I signed the hospice papers, 7 June. Don't have it in front of me so this isn't the precise figure, but it was about $208,500. Again, this doesn't include the doctors' fees. As an example of the insanity of it all, the two short physical therapy sessions he had? About $1,700.
If not for Medicare and the supplemental Blue Cross insurance, I'd be facing bankruptcy - not to mention from the tens of thousands of dollars all his tests and treatments cost before 12 May.
So there you go.
In other news, I think it may be time to turn to Didion. Will be picking up a copy this evening. Hoping for wisdom and some reassurance that surviving this is possible, and desirable.
Karen, I'm C.B. from Augusta, Ga. I responded to your post at the NYTimes. Long story short, you'll survive. But give yourself time. And let yourself cry. It's the saddest thing in the world. You're supposed to cry, and when the time comes you will.
ReplyDeleteI was married to my husband, Art, for 10 years. He died 10 years ago. He had cancer, and it was pretty horrible watching such a vital man dwindle and then leave me. Not to say that I know how you feel, because nobody really does, just that I've been in a similar position.
Talking helps. If you haven't already spoken to your Hospice group about grief counseling, it might be a good idea. My boys and I went to a program that Hospice Buffalo offered for families, and it did them and me a lot of good. Putting your thoughts down here is probably good, too, and you don't have to wait for meetings.
The loss will never go away, but you will learn to cope, as I said before. Take a deep breath, and do whatever it is that comes next. You won't always like what there is to do, but it's an opportunity for momentum, if nothing else. Each day completed is an accomplishment.
Above all else, take care of yourself. If you're offered a hand, take it and say thank you. It helps. I wish you the best, I truly do.
The bills astound me, but I shouldn't be surprised that they are that expensive. I too am thankful there insurance to cover it all.
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