More landmines

I serendipitously ended up with a coupon for a free styling brush from Ulta, and had already planned to get one to deal with my new haircut, so I went out this afternoon, drove south on Main Street, and came to a stop to let a funeral procession go by... with a sign in the window of the hearse from the funeral home that came and took Jerry's body away early on the morning of 14 June.  First round of tears.

Made it to the shopping center, got the brush, plus another for good measure, then went over to JC Penney to see if I could find a top or two to wear to the singings this weekend.  48 is a really awful age to be when you're shopping for clothes: I don't want to end up as what the British so aptly call "mutton dressed as lamb," but so much of the clothing aimed at my age group is so depressingly ugly.  Junior sizes don't really even fit me right, but I ended up in that section after trying on a bunch of things in the Women's section that did. not. work.  And I did find a few tops, doing my bit with one of them to keep the Olsen twins extraordinarily wealthy, and I brought them up to the cash desk, and the cashier rang my stuff up and asked me to fill out a survey online later about the shopping experience, and if I did I'd get a... coupon.  Which she pronounced just like Jerry pronounced that word: "kew-pon."  I managed to get outside and put my sunglasses on before I started crying again.

Yesterday I felt like maybe I could actually do this thing, survive Jerry's death and keep going; today I'm back to feeling like I can't.  As, of course, I predicted - steps forward, steps backward, better days, worse days.  I am so glad I'm leaving for Alabama tomorrow.

I miss him so much.