Not ready yet

Jerry and I got travel backpacks a year or two ago after I read a review of them somewhere online - we'd gotten so tired of maneuvering our roller bags on the streets of Manhattan and in the subway, and having our stuff on our backs instead sounded like a good idea (and it turns out I do prefer it - I think Jerry did too).  Anyway, but now I have two backpacks and only need one, so I was going to send one off to Lynne - decided I'd do it today.  Got Jerry's out of the closet and noticed it was heavy, so I opened it and found that his travel toiletries kit, which he kept in a green leather fanny pack, was inside, where he'd left it after our last trip, to New York last New Year's.  Opened the pack, in a case of not thinking ahead again, and burst into tears.  Zipped it back up, put it back in the backpack, decided I'm not ready to deal with things like that yet.

I can't believe he's actually dead.  I can't believe he's never coming back.

Almost all the house repairs are done - except for the garage door.  Steve came out yesterday and worked on it for a while, but wasn't able to get it fixed, so he's called the guy he uses to deal with garage doors and that guy will call me.  Otherwise... all done for now.  Can't really think of a good excuse not to get to work cleaning the basement, among other things, now.  But not sure when I'll be motivated to do it.

I think I may be sleeping a bit better (I've been getting tired and going to sleep before midnight, which is progress), but I'm still waking up way too early in the morning and am unable to get back to sleep, since my brain starts whirring the minute my eyes open.