In general, I'm not a big adherent of the concept of doing things because a dead person "would have wanted it," or "it would have made him happy." The only thing I know for sure that would have made Jerry happy is not to have gotten cancer, not to have suffered so horribly, and not to have died, and to still be here on this earth in his happy marriage with me, building cabinets, singing Sacred Harp, watching his grandchildren grow up, and planting things in the yard. Among all the other things that gave him joy.
But today I've arranged something small that I think would have been something he would have been pleased with: I'm getting together the materials to have more copies of the Lookout Mountain Convention 1968 CD made. For Jerry, putting together that CD and the other one we did, New Year's Eve at the Iveys' 1972, was a true labor of love, and I was sad to realize that we'd run out of copies of the former (still have a bunch of the latter), even though the tracks are still downloadable. I guess I mentioned this in a previous post - anyway, today I corresponded with someone at Disc Makers and got all the details ironed out, and they'll make new copies from a CD I'll send them.
I do think it's something Jerry would have approved of.
Yes, doing things the spouse would have liked has given some comfort--but after a while I realized that doing so kept me focusing on his absence (already not needing more focus) -and could be depleting my energies somewhat. So, I have tried to change course and have surprised myself by doing stuff for ME with the realization (sometimes coming spectacularly later) that he would have loved it! So without the focus, but the satisfaction and a good sense of accomplishment. I wish you peace.
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